Saturday, October 7, 2006

height of confusions

This is called height of confusion....

Enjoy this terrific confusion .....

Telephone conversation between William Knott and Mr Watt :
.........................................................

"Who's calling?" was the answer to the telephone.
"Watt."
"What is your name, please?"
"Watt's my name."
"That's what I asked you. What's your name?"
"That's what I told you. Watt's my name."
A long pause, and then from Watt, "Is this James Brown?"
"No, this is Knott."
"Please tell me your name."
"Will Knott."
YOU LEFT THE TALKERS AT A POINT WHERE THEY WERE TOTALLY CONFUSED,READ
THE REST OF WHAT HAPPENED...
"Why not?"
"Huh? What do you mean why not?"
"Yeah! Why won't you tell me your name?"
"But I told you my name!"
"Didn't you say you will not?"
"Not not, knott, Will Knott!"
"That's what I mean."
"So you know my name."
"Of course not!"
"Good. So now, what is yours?"
"Watt. Yours?"
"Your name!"
"Watt's my name."
"How the hell do I know? I am asking you!"
"Look I have been very patient and I have told you my name and you
have
not even told me yours yet.."
"You have been patient, what about me?"
"I have told you my name so many times and it is u who have not told
me
yours yet."
"Of course not!"
"See, you even know my name!"
"Of course not!"
"Then why do you keep saying of course Knott?"
"Because I don't."
[Pause]
"What is your name?"
"See, you know my name!"
"Of course not!"
"Then why do you keep saying Watt is your name"
"To find out your name!"
"But you already know it!"
"What?"
"See, and you know mine!"
"Of course not!"
"Exactly!"
NOW THEY ARE AT A POINT WHERE BOTH THINK THE OTHER KNOWS THEIR NAME,
BUT THEY THEMSELVES DON'T KNOW THE OTHER'S NAME.
"Listen, listen, wait; if I asked you what your name is, what will be
your
answer?"
"Watt's my name."
"No, no, give me only one word."
"Watt"
"Your name!"
"Right!"
[Pause before it hits him]
"Oh, Wright!"
"Yeah!"
"So why didn't you say it before?"
"I told you so many times!"
"You never said Wright before"
"Of course I did."
"Ok I won't argue any more. Do you know my name?"
"I do not."
"Well, there you go, now we know each other's name."
"I do not!"
"Good!"
[Pause before it hits him]
"Oh, Guud!"
"Good."
"No wonder, it took me so long, is that Dutch?"
"No, it's Knott!"
"Oh, okay. At least the names are clear now Guud."
"Yes Wright."

height of confusions

This is called height of confusion....

Enjoy this terrific confusion .....

Telephone conversation between William Knott and Mr Watt :
.........................................................

"Who's calling?" was the answer to the telephone.
"Watt."
"What is your name, please?"
"Watt's my name."
"That's what I asked you. What's your name?"
"That's what I told you. Watt's my name."
A long pause, and then from Watt, "Is this James Brown?"
"No, this is Knott."
"Please tell me your name."
"Will Knott."
YOU LEFT THE TALKERS AT A POINT WHERE THEY WERE TOTALLY CONFUSED,READ
THE REST OF WHAT HAPPENED...
"Why not?"
"Huh? What do you mean why not?"
"Yeah! Why won't you tell me your name?"
"But I told you my name!"
"Didn't you say you will not?"
"Not not, knott, Will Knott!"
"That's what I mean."
"So you know my name."
"Of course not!"
"Good. So now, what is yours?"
"Watt. Yours?"
"Your name!"
"Watt's my name."
"How the hell do I know? I am asking you!"
"Look I have been very patient and I have told you my name and you
have
not even told me yours yet.."
"You have been patient, what about me?"
"I have told you my name so many times and it is u who have not told
me
yours yet."
"Of course not!"
"See, you even know my name!"
"Of course not!"
"Then why do you keep saying of course Knott?"
"Because I don't."
[Pause]
"What is your name?"
"See, you know my name!"
"Of course not!"
"Then why do you keep saying Watt is your name"
"To find out your name!"
"But you already know it!"
"What?"
"See, and you know mine!"
"Of course not!"
"Exactly!"
NOW THEY ARE AT A POINT WHERE BOTH THINK THE OTHER KNOWS THEIR NAME,
BUT THEY THEMSELVES DON'T KNOW THE OTHER'S NAME.
"Listen, listen, wait; if I asked you what your name is, what will be
your
answer?"
"Watt's my name."
"No, no, give me only one word."
"Watt"
"Your name!"
"Right!"
[Pause before it hits him]
"Oh, Wright!"
"Yeah!"
"So why didn't you say it before?"
"I told you so many times!"
"You never said Wright before"
"Of course I did."
"Ok I won't argue any more. Do you know my name?"
"I do not."
"Well, there you go, now we know each other's name."
"I do not!"
"Good!"
[Pause before it hits him]
"Oh, Guud!"
"Good."
"No wonder, it took me so long, is that Dutch?"
"No, it's Knott!"
"Oh, okay. At least the names are clear now Guud."
"Yes Wright."

Test your Iq

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are.


Ready?
GO!!! (Scroll down)



First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
















Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!



Try not to screw up in the next question.
To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question.




Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...?



















Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?!


You're not very good at this! Are you?





Third Question: Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.




Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?


Scroll down for answer...




















Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.



Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?


Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?




Answer: Nunu?
NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again



Okay, now the bonus round . . .



There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper
and the purchase is done.

Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?
>

>
>
>
>
>

>
>
>
>He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.

KEEP THIS GOING TO FRUSTRATE THE "SMART PEOPLE" IN YOUR LIFE

Test your Iq

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are.


Ready?
GO!!! (Scroll down)



First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
















Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!



Try not to screw up in the next question.
To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question.




Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...?



















Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?!


You're not very good at this! Are you?





Third Question: Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.




Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?


Scroll down for answer...




















Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.



Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?


Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?




Answer: Nunu?
NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again



Okay, now the bonus round . . .



There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper
and the purchase is done.

Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?
>

>
>
>
>
>

>
>
>
>He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.

KEEP THIS GOING TO FRUSTRATE THE "SMART PEOPLE" IN YOUR LIFE

Things to do when you're stuck in traffic...

So far there have been people stuck in this traffic jam!

1. Honk your horn (old favourite)
2. Sing to the song on the radio
3. Sing to the song on the radio of the car beside you
4. Make up your own song to sing
5. Put on a Barry Manilow tape/CD/8-track (it is suggested that you try everything else on this list before you try this one!)
6. Play the drums on the steering wheel along with the song
7. Lay the seat back down until it is horizontal and do sit-ups
8. Use your windscreen washer until it runs out of water
9. Get out of your car and jog in circles around it, occasionally pausing and leaning on the surrounding cars to stretch your calf muscles
10. Get out of your car, shout "Taxi!" and then stand waiting for one.
11. Drive backwards and forwards in the space you have until your car runs out of petrol
12. Jump out of your car and shout "Everbody slow down! You're freaking me out!" (It's best to look really upset for this one)
13. Get out of your car, walk to the car in front of you and ask the driver if you can join them. Regardless of their response, get in the car and start talking about the most annoying subject you can think of until they kick you out. Repeat this proces with every car in front of yours. When you reach the car at the front of the line, kick the driver out and drive off
14. Ask the driver of each car if they want their windscreen washed for $5. If they do, reach in and turn on their windscreen wipers
15. Start playing the theme from Mission Impossible and run between the cars, occasionally diving to the ground and rolling underneath them. When the song ends, casually walk back to your car and get in, acting as though it wasn't you
16. Sit on your head
17. If you have electric windows, wind the window up and down continuously, all the time watching it as if it's possessed
18. If you have a CB radio, select an open channel and start speaking in martian
19. Climb onto the roof of your car and start reading the newspaper to the cars behind you. If you don't have a newspaper, use your car's manual
20. Pretend you're Al Unser Jr racing at Indianapolis (include sound effects)
21. Fart, then blame it on the guy in front of you
22. Pretend you're doing the traffic report from a helicopter
23. Pretend you are a helicopter
24. Write a suicide note, randomly pick a car, give the note to the driver and then lie in front of their car
25. Snore
26. Pretend you're the commentator from your favourite sporting event from history
27. Sit calmly in your car and then act as if the car's been rear-ended (throw yourself about in the car) and then abuse the guy behind you and complain about the damage
28. Practice your opera singing
29. Walk amongst the cars trying to make words starting with the letters on the number plates
30. If you have a mobile phone/car phone, find a vehicle with a phone number on it and dial that number
31. Walk through the cars and laugh at anyone driving cars such as Volvos, Goggomobiles, etc
32. Rewire your car stereo system
33. Rewire the neighbouring car's stereo system
34. Turn on the airconditioning to cool down the radiator (connect a pipe from the vent and make it blow on the radiator)
35. Get out of your car and run screaming from the giant alien spaceships that just began blowing up the nearby buidings
36. Turn off your air conditioning (if you have it!) and find another car that has it and share with the driver your theory of relativity
37. If you have a sunroof, shout "up periscope!" and stick your head through the sunroof, look around, shout "down periscope!" and sit back down
38. Drink plenty of fluids and then run through the cars asking each driver "can I use your toilet?"
39. Get out of your car, find a nearby phone booth, change into your superman costume and fly off into the sky
40. Ask each driver if they would like some bacon & eggs while they wait. If they say "yes", proceed to cook it on their engine block
41. Pick out a car, ask the driver if you can measure their steering wheel. Before they answer, put your steering wheel lock in their steering wheel, lock it and say "Hey, it's the same size as mine" and walk off
42. Try swapping adjacent cars' hubcaps over
43. Let the air out of the tyres of the car next to yours, breathing it in as it comes out. Then try and blow it back up again
44. Get in the car next to yours, fart, and get out
45. Headbutt the steering wheel, making sure the horn honks each time
46. Using any object that even closely resembles a microphone, start interviewing the other drivers about an imaginary crime
47. Pretend you're filming the new Lethal Weapon movie (it helps to have your own Uzi)
48. Pretend you're filming the Basic Instinct sequel (eg run naked through the cars carrying an ice pick)
49. Rotate your tyres so they get even wear
50. Flick peas in to your neighbour's car by rolling them from the sunroof down the windscreen on to your windscreen wipers. Use both wipers for multifire
51. Flick your headlights on & off indicating you wish to overtake the car in front
52. Get everyone to floor the accelerator while in neutral and give a prize to the person whose engine lasts longest
53. Pretend you're driving a monster truck and attempt to drive over all the cars in front of you.
54. Hitch a ride with a passing snail
55. See how many other cars your keys will unlock/start
56. Swap number plates with the car in front
57. If there is a limo nearby, do a blowfish on one of the windows
58. If there is a limo nearby, ask them if you can watch TV with them. If they decline, refer to the previous item and then bend their TV antenna
59. Find a car with an identification ball on the aerial (the one's the owners use to find their car) and take it off and put it on an identical car
60. Pick a fight with another driver, when he gets out of his car, lock the door, close it and run
61. Approach the driver of a sedan, ask them to open their boot. When they do, mumble something about not paying for the drive-ins and jump in their boot and close it
62. Find some people having a domestic argument, watch them until they are finished, applaud, tell them how enjoyable watching them was and then go back to your car and try to re-enact it
63. Stand next to the engine and use one of the spark plugs to try and ignite a fart

Things to do when you're stuck in traffic...

So far there have been people stuck in this traffic jam!

1. Honk your horn (old favourite)
2. Sing to the song on the radio
3. Sing to the song on the radio of the car beside you
4. Make up your own song to sing
5. Put on a Barry Manilow tape/CD/8-track (it is suggested that you try everything else on this list before you try this one!)
6. Play the drums on the steering wheel along with the song
7. Lay the seat back down until it is horizontal and do sit-ups
8. Use your windscreen washer until it runs out of water
9. Get out of your car and jog in circles around it, occasionally pausing and leaning on the surrounding cars to stretch your calf muscles
10. Get out of your car, shout "Taxi!" and then stand waiting for one.
11. Drive backwards and forwards in the space you have until your car runs out of petrol
12. Jump out of your car and shout "Everbody slow down! You're freaking me out!" (It's best to look really upset for this one)
13. Get out of your car, walk to the car in front of you and ask the driver if you can join them. Regardless of their response, get in the car and start talking about the most annoying subject you can think of until they kick you out. Repeat this proces with every car in front of yours. When you reach the car at the front of the line, kick the driver out and drive off
14. Ask the driver of each car if they want their windscreen washed for $5. If they do, reach in and turn on their windscreen wipers
15. Start playing the theme from Mission Impossible and run between the cars, occasionally diving to the ground and rolling underneath them. When the song ends, casually walk back to your car and get in, acting as though it wasn't you
16. Sit on your head
17. If you have electric windows, wind the window up and down continuously, all the time watching it as if it's possessed
18. If you have a CB radio, select an open channel and start speaking in martian
19. Climb onto the roof of your car and start reading the newspaper to the cars behind you. If you don't have a newspaper, use your car's manual
20. Pretend you're Al Unser Jr racing at Indianapolis (include sound effects)
21. Fart, then blame it on the guy in front of you
22. Pretend you're doing the traffic report from a helicopter
23. Pretend you are a helicopter
24. Write a suicide note, randomly pick a car, give the note to the driver and then lie in front of their car
25. Snore
26. Pretend you're the commentator from your favourite sporting event from history
27. Sit calmly in your car and then act as if the car's been rear-ended (throw yourself about in the car) and then abuse the guy behind you and complain about the damage
28. Practice your opera singing
29. Walk amongst the cars trying to make words starting with the letters on the number plates
30. If you have a mobile phone/car phone, find a vehicle with a phone number on it and dial that number
31. Walk through the cars and laugh at anyone driving cars such as Volvos, Goggomobiles, etc
32. Rewire your car stereo system
33. Rewire the neighbouring car's stereo system
34. Turn on the airconditioning to cool down the radiator (connect a pipe from the vent and make it blow on the radiator)
35. Get out of your car and run screaming from the giant alien spaceships that just began blowing up the nearby buidings
36. Turn off your air conditioning (if you have it!) and find another car that has it and share with the driver your theory of relativity
37. If you have a sunroof, shout "up periscope!" and stick your head through the sunroof, look around, shout "down periscope!" and sit back down
38. Drink plenty of fluids and then run through the cars asking each driver "can I use your toilet?"
39. Get out of your car, find a nearby phone booth, change into your superman costume and fly off into the sky
40. Ask each driver if they would like some bacon & eggs while they wait. If they say "yes", proceed to cook it on their engine block
41. Pick out a car, ask the driver if you can measure their steering wheel. Before they answer, put your steering wheel lock in their steering wheel, lock it and say "Hey, it's the same size as mine" and walk off
42. Try swapping adjacent cars' hubcaps over
43. Let the air out of the tyres of the car next to yours, breathing it in as it comes out. Then try and blow it back up again
44. Get in the car next to yours, fart, and get out
45. Headbutt the steering wheel, making sure the horn honks each time
46. Using any object that even closely resembles a microphone, start interviewing the other drivers about an imaginary crime
47. Pretend you're filming the new Lethal Weapon movie (it helps to have your own Uzi)
48. Pretend you're filming the Basic Instinct sequel (eg run naked through the cars carrying an ice pick)
49. Rotate your tyres so they get even wear
50. Flick peas in to your neighbour's car by rolling them from the sunroof down the windscreen on to your windscreen wipers. Use both wipers for multifire
51. Flick your headlights on & off indicating you wish to overtake the car in front
52. Get everyone to floor the accelerator while in neutral and give a prize to the person whose engine lasts longest
53. Pretend you're driving a monster truck and attempt to drive over all the cars in front of you.
54. Hitch a ride with a passing snail
55. See how many other cars your keys will unlock/start
56. Swap number plates with the car in front
57. If there is a limo nearby, do a blowfish on one of the windows
58. If there is a limo nearby, ask them if you can watch TV with them. If they decline, refer to the previous item and then bend their TV antenna
59. Find a car with an identification ball on the aerial (the one's the owners use to find their car) and take it off and put it on an identical car
60. Pick a fight with another driver, when he gets out of his car, lock the door, close it and run
61. Approach the driver of a sedan, ask them to open their boot. When they do, mumble something about not paying for the drive-ins and jump in their boot and close it
62. Find some people having a domestic argument, watch them until they are finished, applaud, tell them how enjoyable watching them was and then go back to your car and try to re-enact it
63. Stand next to the engine and use one of the spark plugs to try and ignite a fart

inzy shouldn't speak english

Most cricketers, who are not comfortable in conversing in English, go prepared for some standard questions that are asked from them when commentators chat with them during the awards ceremony.
Inzamam was once asked a different question after Pakistan won the match, for which he was not prepared. He always had a standard response to the first question. But this time.....
Tony Greig: So Inzi, that's fantastic, your wife is pregnant for the second time !
Inzamam: Bismillah-e-Rehman-e-Rahim! All credit goes to the boys. Everyone work hard for it,especially Afridi. It was tight situation when he went in. Without his strokes it not have been possible. He was pulling the good balls. Also BobWoolmer keeping close watch on progress and giving instructions. It's all team effort which pulled us out of big hole. Insha Allah, we all will work together as team, put in b! ig effort and deliver good result all the time.
Tony: #$@()#@!|_-?????!!!!!

inzy shouldn't speak english

Most cricketers, who are not comfortable in conversing in English, go prepared for some standard questions that are asked from them when commentators chat with them during the awards ceremony.
Inzamam was once asked a different question after Pakistan won the match, for which he was not prepared. He always had a standard response to the first question. But this time.....
Tony Greig: So Inzi, that's fantastic, your wife is pregnant for the second time !
Inzamam: Bismillah-e-Rehman-e-Rahim! All credit goes to the boys. Everyone work hard for it,especially Afridi. It was tight situation when he went in. Without his strokes it not have been possible. He was pulling the good balls. Also BobWoolmer keeping close watch on progress and giving instructions. It's all team effort which pulled us out of big hole. Insha Allah, we all will work together as team, put in b! ig effort and deliver good result all the time.
Tony: #$@()#@!|_-?????!!!!!

What a DESI of USA may do when visiting India

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

21. Tries to use credit cards in a road side hotel.

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of being health
conscious.

19. Sprays deo so that he doesn't need to take bath.

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
says "Yogurt" instead of "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, he will say Seven Oh Four
Instead of Seven Zero Four)

16. Doesn't forget to crib about the air pollution. Keeps cribbing
every time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in
Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but
deep inside multiplies by 44).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.

12. When he needs to say Z (zed), he never says Z (Zed), instead
repeats "Zee" several times, and if the other person is unable to get it,
then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)

11. Writes the date in MM/DD/YYYY. On watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY,
says "Oh! British Style!!!!"

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and the Indian Road Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

8. Avoids eating spicy food.

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke. Eats Pizza
instead of Dosa.

6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing
it for the first time. Asks questions etc. about India as though its
his first visit to India.

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".

4. Looks suspiciously towards any Hotel/Dhaba food.

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of the Airways by
which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India and tries to
roll the bag on Indian Roads.

1. Tries to begin any conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in
US..."

What a DESI of USA may do when visiting India

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

21. Tries to use credit cards in a road side hotel.

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of being health
conscious.

19. Sprays deo so that he doesn't need to take bath.

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
says "Yogurt" instead of "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, he will say Seven Oh Four
Instead of Seven Zero Four)

16. Doesn't forget to crib about the air pollution. Keeps cribbing
every time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in
Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but
deep inside multiplies by 44).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.

12. When he needs to say Z (zed), he never says Z (Zed), instead
repeats "Zee" several times, and if the other person is unable to get it,
then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)

11. Writes the date in MM/DD/YYYY. On watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY,
says "Oh! British Style!!!!"

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and the Indian Road Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

8. Avoids eating spicy food.

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke. Eats Pizza
instead of Dosa.

6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing
it for the first time. Asks questions etc. about India as though its
his first visit to India.

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".

4. Looks suspiciously towards any Hotel/Dhaba food.

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of the Airways by
which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India and tries to
roll the bag on Indian Roads.

1. Tries to begin any conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in
US..."

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tum rakshak mere, Swami tum thakur mere,
Apni search dikhaao, sare reasearch karao
Site par khada mein tere,
Swami Om Jai Google hare!!

Google devta ki aarti jo koi programmer gaawe,
Swami jo koi bhi programmer gaawe,
Kehet SUN swami, MS hari har swami,
Manwaanchhit fal paawe.
Swami Om Jai Google hare.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Google chaalisa

BOLO GOOGLE DEVTAA KI ------------- JAI
Om Jai Google Hare !!
Swami Om Jai Google hare
Programmers ke sankat, Developers ke Sankat,
Click main door kare!!
Om Jai Google Hare !!

Jo Dhyawe vo pawe,
dukh bin se man ka, Swami dukh bin se man ka,
Homepage ki sampatti lawe, Homework ki sampatti karave
kasht mite work ka,
Swami Om Jai Google hare!!

Tum puran search engine,
Tum hi internet yaami, Swami Tum hi internet yaami
Par karo hamari Salari, Par karo hamari appraisal,
Tum dunia ke swami,
Swami Om Jai Google hare.

Tum information ke saagar,
Tum palan karta, swami Tum palan karta,
Main moorakh khalkamii, Main Searcher tum Server-ami
Tum karta dhartaa !!
Swami Om Jai Google hare!!

Din bandhu dukh harta,
tum rakshak mere, Swami tum thakur mere,
Apni search dikhaao, sare reasearch karao
Site par khada mein tere,
Swami Om Jai Google hare!!

Google devta ki aarti jo koi programmer gaawe,
Swami jo koi bhi programmer gaawe,
Kehet SUN swami, MS hari har swami,
Manwaanchhit fal paawe.
Swami Om Jai Google hare.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

photographer at work


http://media.santabanta.com/gal/bollywood/sabsefavouritekaun/38.jpg

photographer at work


http://media.santabanta.com/gal/bollywood/sabsefavouritekaun/38.jpg

make your own ecard

just follow the link and enter your name and wait for few seconds you will enjoy it

Snow
only one drawback it only takes 8 or less letters

make your own ecard

just follow the link and enter your name and wait for few seconds you will enjoy it

Snow
only one drawback it only takes 8 or less letters

interview like that

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.

Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!

Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it ..
What happened is – due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him ‘baap’) – “I can not invest so much of money”.(The baap actually said – “I will never waste so much of money on you”). So I had to join this college. Frankly
speaking this name – BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.

Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.

Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.

Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.

Candidate: No, no… I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?

Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.

Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?

Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing ‘lower’ education itself was so much of pain!!

Interviewer: Let’s talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?

Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)

Interviewer: And which languages have you used?

Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?

Candidate: It is a common sense – C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!

Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?

Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer: What is your general project experience?

Candidate: My general experience about projects is – most of th! e times they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?

Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.

Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?

Candidate: No, but I gues! s it shouldn’t be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important – I know few words like – ‘Showstoppers ’ , ‘hotfixes’, ‘SEI-CMM’,’quality’,’versioncontrol’,’deadlines’ , ‘Customer Satisfaction’ etc. Also I can blame others for my
mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?

Candidate: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in 2007, I don’t mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don’t have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to INFOSYS

interview like that

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.

Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!

Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it ..
What happened is – due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him ‘baap’) – “I can not invest so much of money”.(The baap actually said – “I will never waste so much of money on you”). So I had to join this college. Frankly
speaking this name – BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.

Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.

Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.

Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.

Candidate: No, no… I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?

Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.

Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?

Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing ‘lower’ education itself was so much of pain!!

Interviewer: Let’s talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?

Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)

Interviewer: And which languages have you used?

Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?

Candidate: It is a common sense – C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!

Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?

Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer: What is your general project experience?

Candidate: My general experience about projects is – most of th! e times they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?

Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.

Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?

Candidate: No, but I gues! s it shouldn’t be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important – I know few words like – ‘Showstoppers ’ , ‘hotfixes’, ‘SEI-CMM’,’quality’,’versioncontrol’,’deadlines’ , ‘Customer Satisfaction’ etc. Also I can blame others for my
mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?

Candidate: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in 2007, I don’t mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don’t have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to INFOSYS